Combat Control: Why I'm glad I waited until I was 24 years old

 

I was going to enter the Air Force at 24 years old and begin basic training  It was later than most, and I felt like the old guy.

Waiting until 24 to join the Air Force, further supports my thoughts on being held back growing up.  I was late to everything.  I had a steep earning curve when I moved out of the house and another huge mountain in the military.

I felt like an accident victim when I moved out on my own, having to re learn everything as an adult.  I still felt trapped living 45 minutes away from my parents.

My father had little to no boundaries when I was growing up.  It was okay for him to listen to our phone calls ( through another phone on the landline or from another room) or to ask way too many details about places or people we wanted to hang out with outside of the house.  This applied to my entire family.  My mother did not have a life of her own, neither did my brother or sister.

We didn't have doors on our rooms or bathrooms for a long time.  When I was younger this seemed normal.( This would later help me with life in the Army barracks)

I still could not completely feel like myself.  My father still had control of me.  He offered to help me pay for school and tried to give me things, but i knew these came with a steep price, something to hang over my head.  I accepted his help out of desperation.  My father was a huge help, but in the end, it was never worth it.

It was almost like we needed permission to have own thoughts and feelings.  It was my father's way, and nobody dared question him.

I continued to question my father and try to call him out on his behavior.  This only made my situation worse, further pushing me away from my entire family.  I did the unspoken rule, and my family turned on me.  My relationship with my father got really bad.  We barely even spoke, even the arguing stopped. 

That's when I knew it was bad.

I felt completely crazy.  When things got really bad with my father and I, nobody brought it up.  I knew my mom was scared to, but I grew frustrated with the situation.

It messed with my head.

There was no way I'd have survived joining the military at 18, or even 20.  I'd have to learn basic skills of life first, but once I did, I realized I was completely capable of what I focused on.  Starting Combat Control training in my mid twenties, was the perfect scenario for me. 

Now, looking back, I could ace college courses with with work ethic and maturity level.  Nobody taught me these things, but now I'm glad I learned them on my own.  Thanks dad!

It turns out, even if I had all the confidence in the world as a teenager, 24 was a perfect age to attempt Combat Control training.  The pipeline had men ranging from 19 to 28, but most guys seemed to be my age or a little older.  There were many cross trainees coming over to the Air Force to attempt Combat Control and Pararescue.  They came from established careers in the SEALs, RECON, Rangers, and many other regular careers in the Air Force.

Once I realized this, I knew I'd signed up for the best of the best.  I was even concerned I jumped even further over my head than trying the SEAL challenge contract.

Unlike the civilian world, Combat Control and Pararescue had a reputation of being some the toughest military training in the Department of Defense.  The careers were full of the latest technology and seemed to be the special forces of the future, especially Combat Control.  
The recruiters warned me of this, but I thought they were just proud of the Air Force and also wanted me to sign up for Combat Control.  

There was a reason I did not see much information about Combat Control before I entered the Air Force.  They were true quiet professionals, proud of the fact most people don't even know they exist.

In the movie Blackhawk Down, Combat Controllers, or Pararescuemen ,were not in the Hollywood spotlight, but they were there.   They do important, extremely dangerous missions, without the recognition.  In fact, they love the lack of attention.  

Being a part of a community who train and dedicate their lives to doing dangerous missions go through training where 90 percent fail, knowing they probably won't be recognized, was very intriguing to me.  In fact, it was good for me.  I needed to learn to be a part of something greater than myself. to sacrifice myself to something greater than myself and my world.  

I've never been religious.  My family never went to church, and I had a hard time understanding why people go to church and get deep into religion.  I started to understand the religious perspective more after I was exposed to this mindset.

Without a purpose greater than yourself, there is not much to strive for in life.  In fact life will feel half full, mundane, and even depressing.  

I learned a lot hearing rumors during basic training, and in the Combat Control training pipeline, which made me proud to be a part of the community, even before I made it through training.  It happened very early on, and it created an experience I'll never forget.