How to build genuine confidence
How to Build Genuine Confidence
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
How do people get so good at certain tasks? How do people become really great at things that seem difficult?
Humans often complicate things, especially when we are adults. We say things like, " I used to play piano, but I am not good anymore. I don't have time."
You see a great band or performer on stage and it looks easy. They seem so confident, and they are barely even trying. It looks that way because by the time you see them, they are on auto pilot. They are just doing it again for the 1000th time. At 1001, it is just another run.
If you are like me, it's hard to become good at things you really do not care about, yet we spin our wheels trying to get good at things that don't matter.
Is working hard on a project at work, that you don't care much about, really what you want to put your focus on? Yeah, it may get you recognized for being the employee that works harder for others than you do for yourself. Good job. You now get more responsibility, stress, and a cool title. Even if you get a $10,000 per year raise, that equates to a bigger car payment, more stuff, or eating out a few more times a year.
If you're not in the career you personally have passion for, do what you have to into order to earn the paycheck that supports where you are currently in life.
You need to make time for your true passions.
Be careful and do not care too much about a regular job.
When you work for someone else, you are not special. No matter how hard you try, you will not be a unique individual in the workplace. If you became sick, or could not come in for a few weeks, you would be replaced. There is always someone else who can do what you do in that environment.
When you find your passion, your talents, your true desires, you become unique. No one else is like YOU.
I never felt like I fit in at college, in my current career, or anywhere else that is a bunch of people doing the same thing. That is okay because I find the interests that I do like in my other time not spent in the workplace. Things like playing music, writing books and blogs, building my own business around my interests, are things I like. My real focus goes there.
I came to a point around my mid thirties, where I was tired of feeling like I was not good enough in the workplace. I put massive amounts of time and energy into going above and beyond, but I always felt like I fell short. When I really took time to focus and look at the situation, it was because I only put in about 40 percent of my full focus and time into my regular job. In turn, I never felt fully confident in what I was doing.
My confidence dilemma was because of my interests and focus. I became better at being confident in a leadership role, but I was not becoming my full potential. I slowly realized this.
I felt like I was putting on an act, like everyone else around me.
It's hard in my, or any other career, to not fall in the trap of chasing a silly promotion, or volunteering your time and energy to get recognized. It easy to start showing up to work 15 minutes early so everyone will notice what a great employee you are, even getting stressed when we are just 5 minutes early.
People around you are trying to suck up and act fake, in hopes of getting a supervisor promotion. They talk about taking the position so maybe one day they can move into that position where they don't do anything but make 30,000 more per year. Is that what YOU want? Not me. I don't want to play the game of acting like a moron so I can have the position being a useless body.
Instead, I want to focus on doing things I love, some of the things can provide an income that far exceeds and drone job you can kill yourself to get. Yeah it won't be easy, but neither is kissing your average manager's ass. Does your manager make 500,000 dollars per year? You may not want to make that much per year, but the possibility is there when you start your own venture.
I think about things I am really confident doing. I am very confident playing acoustic guitar an stage. Why I am I? Because I truly love it. It is a true talent I love to show off. Was I good at first? Obviously no.
When I was younger, I used to listen to Nirvana and Alice in Chains unplugged and imagine it was me singing with the passion and skills I heard. I pretended all my friends and family were watching me sing and play those songs. The passion I had to learn the guitar and sing was overwhelming.
In my first few years of college, I decided I was gonna learn the guitar so I could sing and possibly write great music to play for others. I pictured myself playing for people, and without realizing, I practiced for hours everyday. It did not seem like work because I loved it. I could see myself getting closer to my goal. I did everything in my power to reach my goal without even thinking about it. I googled different singer's techniques and learned how to be a skilled vocalist.
my motivation to make improvements in my place of employment, it's not even close. I put every ounce of effort and spare time into playing guitar and singing. What made it even better was I had natural talent for it.
Getting on stage was another learning curve, but I had the drive to get up and try. I did not do awesome my first time, but without even realizing, I critiqued myself after every performance. I learned to practice so many times, I played without even thinking at show time. I did not dread the practice, instead I enjoyed it.
When people show there true self in artistic expression, it's truly inspiring. People who allow there true personalities to be exposed, make huge impacts in the world, especially people's lives.
People who strive to climb the corporate ladder to success, even if they make more money, end of being average. Are they going to impact someone like Scott Weiland, the late lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots? Probably not.
Scott Weiland is considered to be one of the greatest rock front men of all time. His stage presence was exciting and he had a style all of his own. He had moves on stage that were unique, like a slithering dance, during guitar solos. His style was cool, because it was his. Maybe the heroine helped, but he let it all out during his performances. Regardless of drugs, he had to practice many countless hours, to be as confident as he was on stage. His performances seemed effortless. He practiced a lot, it helped he was so passionate about music. He made it look so easy, like almost anyone could do it.
In 2008, I had a chance to see the Stone Temple Pilots perform at a small venue in Lincoln, Nebraska. The concert changed my life. After seeing the band perform, I was filled with passion and motivation to start my own band. Within a month, I had a band together, and just 2 weeks after that, we played our first show.
How did we practice enough to play show just 2 weeks after meeting each other? It came from a spark I received watching people express their true passion. I passed that along to other people I met.
After a few shows, I felt a confidence and passion I will never forget.
We practiced 1 day a week for about 4 hours. We did not practice all the time. We had short bursts of focused deliberate practice. We had fun, joked around, but when we practiced, we played songs over and over again. Eventually we played them so well, we could play the songs on auto pilot. About a month after the concert, I was in a band playing music on stage with confidence.
I do not make this type of progress in the workplace, not even close.
I am an average employee.
I do not want to play the game of moving up the ladder and looking forward to another title.
Don't get me wrong, I have a good job, but my employer will only get 30 to 40 percent of my true ability. I am becoming comfortable with this fact. If I see someone moving up to make a bigger salary, become the supervisor or manager, I realize they are taking on more extra tasks and put in more to job than I did. Of course they did. I am not willing to take on so much that it distracts my true talents or self generated income. They are giving more of their energy to the job. Accepting this, makes me feel more free and less stressed.
I learned the same lesson in combat control training. To be an elite warrior takes years of specialized training, but even that is not enough. You have to dedicate you life at such an elite level. Any special ops group makes it clear, in order to be successful, it is not just a job. You are a combat controller. You live and breathe the lifestyle.
Doctors, lawyers, detectives, and combat controllers have to dedicate their life to that career. This is amazing. The question to ask in any employment situation is if you want to dedicate your life to it. After my time was up in the Air Force, I knew I could not dedicate all my energy and focus to the career, so I left. I am glad I made that choice. I had other interests pulling at me.
Take some time to ask yourself what YOU really want to dedicate your time and focus to.
The point is, you won't ever be really confident or highly skilled at something you do not give 100 percent to. Many people have forgotten interests ,or so busy they forget what they really like doing. Take some time and find out what it is. You don't have to quit your job....yet.
If you are like me, it's hard to become good at things you really do not care about, yet we spin our wheels trying to get good at things that don't matter.
Is working hard on a project at work, that you don't care much about, really what you want to put your focus on? Yeah, it may get you recognized for being the employee that works harder for others than you do for yourself. Good job. You now get more responsibility, stress, and a cool title. Even if you get a $10,000 per year raise, that equates to a bigger car payment, more stuff, or eating out a few more times a year.
If you're not in the career you personally have passion for, do what you have to into order to earn the paycheck that supports where you are currently in life.
You need to make time for your true passions.
Be careful and do not care too much about a regular job.
When you work for someone else, you are not special. No matter how hard you try, you will not be a unique individual in the workplace. If you became sick, or could not come in for a few weeks, you would be replaced. There is always someone else who can do what you do in that environment.
When you find your passion, your talents, your true desires, you become unique. No one else is like YOU.
I never felt like I fit in at college, in my current career, or anywhere else that is a bunch of people doing the same thing. That is okay because I find the interests that I do like in my other time not spent in the workplace. Things like playing music, writing books and blogs, building my own business around my interests, are things I like. My real focus goes there.
I came to a point around my mid thirties, where I was tired of feeling like I was not good enough in the workplace. I put massive amounts of time and energy into going above and beyond, but I always felt like I fell short. When I really took time to focus and look at the situation, it was because I only put in about 40 percent of my full focus and time into my regular job. In turn, I never felt fully confident in what I was doing.
My confidence dilemma was because of my interests and focus. I became better at being confident in a leadership role, but I was not becoming my full potential. I slowly realized this.
I felt like I was putting on an act, like everyone else around me.
It's hard in my, or any other career, to not fall in the trap of chasing a silly promotion, or volunteering your time and energy to get recognized. It easy to start showing up to work 15 minutes early so everyone will notice what a great employee you are, even getting stressed when we are just 5 minutes early.
People around you are trying to suck up and act fake, in hopes of getting a supervisor promotion. They talk about taking the position so maybe one day they can move into that position where they don't do anything but make 30,000 more per year. Is that what YOU want? Not me. I don't want to play the game of acting like a moron so I can have the position being a useless body.
Instead, I want to focus on doing things I love, some of the things can provide an income that far exceeds and drone job you can kill yourself to get. Yeah it won't be easy, but neither is kissing your average manager's ass. Does your manager make 500,000 dollars per year? You may not want to make that much per year, but the possibility is there when you start your own venture.
I think about things I am really confident doing. I am very confident playing acoustic guitar an stage. Why I am I? Because I truly love it. It is a true talent I love to show off. Was I good at first? Obviously no.
When I was younger, I used to listen to Nirvana and Alice in Chains unplugged and imagine it was me singing with the passion and skills I heard. I pretended all my friends and family were watching me sing and play those songs. The passion I had to learn the guitar and sing was overwhelming.
In my first few years of college, I decided I was gonna learn the guitar so I could sing and possibly write great music to play for others. I pictured myself playing for people, and without realizing, I practiced for hours everyday. It did not seem like work because I loved it. I could see myself getting closer to my goal. I did everything in my power to reach my goal without even thinking about it. I googled different singer's techniques and learned how to be a skilled vocalist.
Getting on stage was another learning curve, but I had the drive to get up and try. I did not do awesome my first time, but without even realizing, I critiqued myself after every performance. I learned to practice so many times, I played without even thinking at show time. I did not dread the practice, instead I enjoyed it.
When people show there true self in artistic expression, it's truly inspiring. People who allow there true personalities to be exposed, make huge impacts in the world, especially people's lives.
People who strive to climb the corporate ladder to success, even if they make more money, end of being average. Are they going to impact someone like Scott Weiland, the late lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots? Probably not.
Scott Weiland is considered to be one of the greatest rock front men of all time. His stage presence was exciting and he had a style all of his own. He had moves on stage that were unique, like a slithering dance, during guitar solos. His style was cool, because it was his. Maybe the heroine helped, but he let it all out during his performances. Regardless of drugs, he had to practice many countless hours, to be as confident as he was on stage. His performances seemed effortless. He practiced a lot, it helped he was so passionate about music. He made it look so easy, like almost anyone could do it.
In 2008, I had a chance to see the Stone Temple Pilots perform at a small venue in Lincoln, Nebraska. The concert changed my life. After seeing the band perform, I was filled with passion and motivation to start my own band. Within a month, I had a band together, and just 2 weeks after that, we played our first show.
How did we practice enough to play show just 2 weeks after meeting each other? It came from a spark I received watching people express their true passion. I passed that along to other people I met.
After a few shows, I felt a confidence and passion I will never forget.
We practiced 1 day a week for about 4 hours. We did not practice all the time. We had short bursts of focused deliberate practice. We had fun, joked around, but when we practiced, we played songs over and over again. Eventually we played them so well, we could play the songs on auto pilot. About a month after the concert, I was in a band playing music on stage with confidence.
I do not make this type of progress in the workplace, not even close.
I am an average employee.
I do not want to play the game of moving up the ladder and looking forward to another title.
Don't get me wrong, I have a good job, but my employer will only get 30 to 40 percent of my true ability. I am becoming comfortable with this fact. If I see someone moving up to make a bigger salary, become the supervisor or manager, I realize they are taking on more extra tasks and put in more to job than I did. Of course they did. I am not willing to take on so much that it distracts my true talents or self generated income. They are giving more of their energy to the job. Accepting this, makes me feel more free and less stressed.
I learned the same lesson in combat control training. To be an elite warrior takes years of specialized training, but even that is not enough. You have to dedicate you life at such an elite level. Any special ops group makes it clear, in order to be successful, it is not just a job. You are a combat controller. You live and breathe the lifestyle.
Doctors, lawyers, detectives, and combat controllers have to dedicate their life to that career. This is amazing. The question to ask in any employment situation is if you want to dedicate your life to it. After my time was up in the Air Force, I knew I could not dedicate all my energy and focus to the career, so I left. I am glad I made that choice. I had other interests pulling at me.
Take some time to ask yourself what YOU really want to dedicate your time and focus to.
The point is, you won't ever be really confident or highly skilled at something you do not give 100 percent to. Many people have forgotten interests ,or so busy they forget what they really like doing. Take some time and find out what it is. You don't have to quit your job....yet.
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