Quit Apologizing for Everything
“Never apologize for showing your feelings. When you do, you are apologizing for the truth.”
― MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love
Taking action to step up and improve your life takes focus and determination. Instead of falling into the trap of blindly following what other are doing, taking your own personal path takes dedication.
― MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love
Taking action to step up and improve your life takes focus and determination. Instead of falling into the trap of blindly following what other are doing, taking your own personal path takes dedication.
Taking action to follow your own values, despite what everyone else says or does, is gonna ruffle some feathers. Instead of following what the other people are doing around you, like a flock of birds, leading from the front comes with making constant effort, sometimes standing alone.
If you want to be a leader, not just the title, you need to stop apologizing all the time
Many people find themselves in positions of leadership, but make the mistake of apologizing for every decision made or action they take.
Lets face it. We all make bad decisions, mistakes, or say the wrong things, all the time. If you are facing big enough challenges, you will likely make mistakes all over the place.
Don't let the haters and miserable people make you feel bad for making a mistakes.
Save your apologies for when you really owe somebody one.
As a leader you have to get used to constructive criticism. You should welcome the feedback from others around you. It may be hard at first, but it is vital for your growth as a leader.
After some time, if you are being bold and resisting the urge to fit in, you will have many thoughts and ideas you express as you own individual thoughts. Not thoughts like the large group, not holding back to be nice and get along.
As a true authentic leader, you will have your share of haters.
Get used to it.
This is infinitely better than fitting into groups of people who are comfortable blending in because they fear conflict.
Once you realize you have haters, congratulate yourself and get to work using them to you advantage.
After some time, if you are being bold and resisting the urge to fit in, you will have many thoughts and ideas you express as you own individual thoughts. Not thoughts like the large group, not holding back to be nice and get along.
As a true authentic leader, you will have your share of haters.
Get used to it.
This is infinitely better than fitting into groups of people who are comfortable blending in because they fear conflict.
Once you realize you have haters, congratulate yourself and get to work using them to you advantage.
When you are made aware of a mistake you have made, you must first take a step back, an honest look at the situation. Did you make a mistake? Is the critique worth of your attention? If not, ignore it and move on to focusing on your purpose. If there is some truth, acknowledge how you could have done better. No need to be sorry.
Becoming a better person than you were the day before requires feedback and learning from mistakes. You cannot improve by always thinking you are right. There are plenty of people who think they know it all, but it keeps them from growing.
When you make a mistake, it is vital to own it. Own the fact you made decision, tried to solve a problem, or made an honest attempt to change something. Don't let your ego or emotions get in the way of learning and growing.
When you apologize constantly, you become weak and your confidence will suffer.
The people who sit on the sidelines are not happy. They still have minds, and our minds are made to be used. These people gossip, complain, and talk about you behind your back, no matter what you do, to make themselves feel better. You had better believe it, they watch your every move. They will look for mistakes you make while in the arena doing battle. While you are leading, they are keeping track of your faults.
Expect your faults to be exposed, but do not apologize for them.
One question I always ask a team or group of people I am leading is how I can improve. What could I have done better with certain situations. When this question is asked, remember your audience. Your biggest haters may have critiques which may benefit you. Dismiss all the nonsense. You can easily tell when someone is just complaining or calling you out because it is easy.
When you hear a concern or comment, take an honest evaluation. Is there any basis for the comment? A lot of times there is. If you can find validity to the concern, it doesn't mean you have to apologize. Instead, say how you could have handled it better, or how you could do it next time. This is being a leader.
This is challenging at first, but with time you will grow.
As I have leaned into leadership roles, I have made a lot of mistakes. At first, it is easy to become defensive and be in denial over making mistakes. Don't do this. It makes YOU look bad.
Understand you can also have a disagreement without an apology being said. It is normal to disagree with people, but it does not mean you let your emotions run free and you blow up ,or worse, shut down.
We have all seen the people who like to keep the peace and harmony no matter the cost. Eventually, things happen and disagreements must be communicated. These people will be the first one apologizing for getting the other person mad, or making them upset. When they do this, it actually makes the other person lose respect for them. These people actually become more depressed and anxious, and the upset people keep doing the same thing.
Like a child every time they get an apology, they keep doing the same thing over and over.
If you are around adults that get upset or angry easily, look out. They likely will use this as leverage against weak people. Showing a little anger or frustration sends the weak person into guilt and apologizing.
When you apologize for everything, you communicate to others they are more important. You make what you say, think, or do, less important.
When someone is upset or angry at you, that is their fault. They are choosing that reaction, not you. They are letting their emotions dictate their behavior, not you. Family members, especially parents of grown adults, unfortunately leverage this tactic all the time. Don't fall for it.
We are all humans with strong emotions. There are times when you may need to apologize. When you apologize, make it sincere and mean it.
If you around people who demand apologizes from you, get rid of them. Manipulative people demand apologies from others in an attempt devalue or dismiss you thoughts and opinions.
The victim mentality runs rampant in adults in the workplace and our families. Victims are not worth your time or energy. It is best to avoid or drastically reduce contact with these people. These may be people you lead right now. It is difficult to find any constructive criticism from them, because everything wrong in their life is someone else's fault.
Look, their life is the way it is because it's their fault.
Victims love to blame you for their unhappiness, there position in life, and their lack of purpose and drive. This simply is not true. If someone demands an apology from you, don't give in. Stay focused on your agenda and don't waste your time with them.
Bad things happen to people all the time, but how they react is their fault. Many people also love to fill their time blaming other people and circumstances for their short comings. They are not in control of their life. Don't try to fix them. Instead avoid them.
When you apologize constantly, you become weak and your confidence will suffer.
The people who sit on the sidelines are not happy. They still have minds, and our minds are made to be used. These people gossip, complain, and talk about you behind your back, no matter what you do, to make themselves feel better. You had better believe it, they watch your every move. They will look for mistakes you make while in the arena doing battle. While you are leading, they are keeping track of your faults.
Expect your faults to be exposed, but do not apologize for them.
One question I always ask a team or group of people I am leading is how I can improve. What could I have done better with certain situations. When this question is asked, remember your audience. Your biggest haters may have critiques which may benefit you. Dismiss all the nonsense. You can easily tell when someone is just complaining or calling you out because it is easy.
When you hear a concern or comment, take an honest evaluation. Is there any basis for the comment? A lot of times there is. If you can find validity to the concern, it doesn't mean you have to apologize. Instead, say how you could have handled it better, or how you could do it next time. This is being a leader.
This is challenging at first, but with time you will grow.
As I have leaned into leadership roles, I have made a lot of mistakes. At first, it is easy to become defensive and be in denial over making mistakes. Don't do this. It makes YOU look bad.
Understand you can also have a disagreement without an apology being said. It is normal to disagree with people, but it does not mean you let your emotions run free and you blow up ,or worse, shut down.
We have all seen the people who like to keep the peace and harmony no matter the cost. Eventually, things happen and disagreements must be communicated. These people will be the first one apologizing for getting the other person mad, or making them upset. When they do this, it actually makes the other person lose respect for them. These people actually become more depressed and anxious, and the upset people keep doing the same thing.
Like a child every time they get an apology, they keep doing the same thing over and over.
If you are around adults that get upset or angry easily, look out. They likely will use this as leverage against weak people. Showing a little anger or frustration sends the weak person into guilt and apologizing.
When you apologize for everything, you communicate to others they are more important. You make what you say, think, or do, less important.
When someone is upset or angry at you, that is their fault. They are choosing that reaction, not you. They are letting their emotions dictate their behavior, not you. Family members, especially parents of grown adults, unfortunately leverage this tactic all the time. Don't fall for it.
We are all humans with strong emotions. There are times when you may need to apologize. When you apologize, make it sincere and mean it.
If you around people who demand apologizes from you, get rid of them. Manipulative people demand apologies from others in an attempt devalue or dismiss you thoughts and opinions.
The victim mentality runs rampant in adults in the workplace and our families. Victims are not worth your time or energy. It is best to avoid or drastically reduce contact with these people. These may be people you lead right now. It is difficult to find any constructive criticism from them, because everything wrong in their life is someone else's fault.
Look, their life is the way it is because it's their fault.
Victims love to blame you for their unhappiness, there position in life, and their lack of purpose and drive. This simply is not true. If someone demands an apology from you, don't give in. Stay focused on your agenda and don't waste your time with them.
Bad things happen to people all the time, but how they react is their fault. Many people also love to fill their time blaming other people and circumstances for their short comings. They are not in control of their life. Don't try to fix them. Instead avoid them.
You're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna fail. Expect to be wrong. Keep making decisions and learning as you go.
Get honest feedback from people you trust and respect. Keep your enemies closer by sorting through the gossip and complaints. Hold your apologies for the times when they are valid.
Live the life of a leader, and don't apologize as you becomome one.
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